Carefree life..

I dunno should I say I am really carefree now and I should feel happy..somehow not that happy..I guess I need to take some time 2 adapt..after all I am so used to being attached..is the end between us..I just let it be.I believe in fate..maybe this path is the best for me..I dun have this kind of life for so long..I want to take a break and concentrate on my work..I want to get a gd career..it takes time and I am still looking 4 it..

Frankly speaking, I guess this is the best way..we can lead our own life.do wat we want without restriction..I love that..I believe that every relationship make us grow up..and learn more things..as long as we dun make stupid mistakes..love cant be forced..

I choose this path..but wat to do..I already choose, cannot regret and then u ignore me..what can I do..I just hope u let me give up totally ..dun call or msg me anymore 2 give me hope if u dun even bother already.. so I can forget u and continue my life..I know is hard..I dun want to bluff myself..I just fall in the well..trying to pull myself out..u know that kind of feeling? then wat abt u ? U like me? I find it hard to ans..u ignore me coz of what? I still get to see u..although u say u dun come up 2 office..haha.. :P u only tolerate 4 two weeks..I know u cant do it la..

Guys r like that..seriously I dunno whether u really like me..I give up coz u dun want to ans my call..b4 that u still msg 2 ask if I call u..I dunno for what..end up I didnt call..I am angry, dunno wat u want to say n afraid I will scold u instead..I already tell u how I feel..is up to u to care or dun care..I dun mind le ..wat can I do..I choose the path le..better for me..leave it to fate..tml is his birthday..but haha he has frenzs to help him celebrate de ba..I dun have to worry..

I just know like someone is so xin ku..I will try to forget u de..slowly ..if we are destined to be together, we will be together de..that is wat I can say..sometime hard to know if a person is playing with u..u have to see 4 urself..

End here..



End here ba..

What's wrong?

I dunno wat I thinking..I just know that my mood is ok today til we talk abt an issue.. sigh..wat is there a big fuss abt it that we can feel unhappy? small matter only..maybe he is stress up & unhappy..small little things he can get fed up..doesnt mean u r not impt to me..u can join me but I know u dun like so I never force u..is it really difficult to compromise..not just god.u, family n frenzs r impt too..

maybe u dun understand how I feel..I know u want me to acc u..I never say I wont pei ni wat..that u claim the time is short..sigh..compromise lor..go on alt sat..wat 2 do..relationship is a give n take one..but I believe u love me, u respect wat I did right? now u know how i feel when u put work at the very lst priority that u almost neglect me..I really not happy..is the same thing..now u know..

I feel this is only a small matter..wat u concern actually isnt this..is more than that..I know u..I been together with u..I know how u feel..but sometime is also hard to know wat guys r thinking..
what to do..sigh..

end here..

Still cant forget..

I dun want to think abt u..but u keep coming 2 my mind..is unfair..I feel alright..til I saw u drive past me today..u act as if u never see me I guess..I dun want de..but I just happen to see u..sian..I rather I dun see u ba..then I wont feel sad..I dunno why I hope to see u..but when I see u.I feel sad..I am just reminded of wat happen..I cannot forget!!! I am that kind who can remember things de for so very long or even cant forget..like I saw Hang ten..I am reminded of stuff..so hurt n sad abt wat I did..haiz..but now dun really think of it..

Nvm I need time..and perhaps u or I leave the company ,it will be fine..slowly fade..better? I just want to enjoy myself today and feel happy that I have my dear beside me..dote n love me no matter wat happen.I am unfair to him..I will treat him even better..coz I know I love him..just that I cant get over wat happen..sigh..I really need time..time can heal everything ba..

End here..

Mon Blues..

Today just feel sian..dun feel like doing any work but have to work..so I just do my work seriously..maybe I think alot..still reminded of him..wat to do..unless I leave this company..still wonder why is he not here..lol..silly hor? I shouldnt do that..I stopping myself le from contacting him..coz he already told me not to ...I know..like that we can forget each other ? u really want to do that?

I still treat u as frenz wat..dun have to do til like that ba..now building my relationship..we need some time..I already get back those feeling together..but hope it will be even better..hope everything turns out fine..I am bad..can do this and yet he forgives me..sigh..I am unfair hor..I hope this is the last time..we cant take it if there is another such test..sigh..maybe is all fated..if there r problems, end up we r still together..maybe is fate..I dunno still early to tell? who knows wat happen..I just hope we two can have a gd relationship n walk on til old..but right now I dun want to think abt that.career is impt to me lst..then studies..earn money first..if not cant even think of other stuff..

End here..

Settled & hope things turn out fine

Everything is back to normal..and Dear told me how he feels..our ship is nearly sinking again..but right now we trying to save it again..hopefully I will be fair..he told me if I think he not the ideal guy, tell him earlier..I believe he is..just that I am so soft hearted..Sorry dear for hurting u ..haiz I am a bad gal..

Father lord, I really hope n pray that my heart wont waver and that we r happy together..he is gd to me n dote me..if I give him up, I am really a fool..maybe my guy is just right beside me..I dunno how to cherish..hurt him..r u telling me he is the one?? although some things I cant accept..but no one is perfect..I know that..
I just wish to have someone who love me truely n dote me n my family..to be able to share my burden..regardless of happiness or saddness..have a flat..help me in housework, down to earth..did I ask alot?

I get back the feeling yesterday..have fun n of course really a bit down yesterday til a very big extreme..that I dun want 2 mention anymore..

I went to sentosa with dear..took cable car..the feeling is gd..took some pics at vivo n sentosa..rainy day wor..we went to pasta mania n have dinner..hhee..he treat me lunch so I treat him for dinner..:) been spending quite alot of money this week..have to save a little..
anyway life is to enjoy at times..I mean cannot be spendthrift but then sometime I want to enjoy life..a little..like drinking or having some food that I like..after all we work so hard..agree?

Right now we just see if we can stable our relationship after he ord..and I get other job n studied..this is a test for us..that this is a test..if we can get through..mm..more or less know we can settle down..soon..

Now I just wish to work hard and get a better job..career is impt..no career,other things we can lay aside lor..end here..

Just want to be alone..

I dunno ..I feel miserable ba..I feel unhappy although things r settled..Sorry D..I hurt u..wat I said also no use..nothing is fair in this world..u have to forget me..I know I have a bit feeling for u.I just dun dare to face it..I fear for the future..I feel that i dun suit u really..sorry being unfair..I am afraid I love u temp. or wat..is unfair to u..so I rather never start ba..sorry..I really dunno how to face u when I see u..I know wo zai hu ni..yet I stop myself from falling in..haiz..why? love is so complicated..

I just cant overcome this..it making me collasping..maybe u guys will say I stupid n silly..my mind n body really tired..give me a break can? I know dear u r beside me..sometime I also need to take a break..know u understand n wont disturb me..I just want 2 be alone now..I really dun feel happy this two months..D u think is ur fault..is not.dun blame urself..if u didnt ask..others may ask..still the same.. I just hope u can find ur ideal gal.and settle down..u r not young le..

End here..may god bless u..I believe he will..wish u happiness..

What I want?

Frenz say me is true..I really dunno what I want..or maybe I know what I want but I am afraid to face it..so never make empty promise..i cant say I dun feel happy with u..is that my heart just waiver..why is that so? I dun dare to face how I feel..I can say is my problem..even if he doesnt appear..there may be problems..I guess is all my fault..
Maybe I should just be left alone..better for me? choose wat I want? then end up cannot find then forget it lor..single..is that what I want? I dun want to hurt u two..

Seriously y I worry abt u not coming to work? I cant figure out how I feel towards u..is it like? I just feel so comfortable talking to u n going out with u..I dun feel any stress..but recently talk to u..I guess we r giving each other attitude le..why is that so? then u can feel I am a bad person..I worry when u didnt on ur hp..or ans the call..I scare something happen to u..coz I care right? I dun have to do that right? but why? frenz dun do that..I am doing more than that le..

I dun want to regret wat decision I make..frankly speaking Dear I know u r gd to me since we r together for so long..maybe I demand too much..that I go out with u..I tend to be unhappy when I dun wish to..how come? I mean when there isnt some romantic stuff but u r true to me..u love me for who I am..u forgive me for what I do..if is me, will I do the same? this is a gd question..

I also dun dare to get into a new relationship although I do say I did like u a little..but wat kind of like is that? end up I find u not suitable..break with u no point lor..I dun have the confidence..beside there is alot to consider..why must I think so much..like pple will say just do what u think is right..I dunno u well..maybe I doesnt suit u..i think u forget me ba..

Frankly speaking if I knew this will happen again..coz no sparks etc..i shouldnt patch back with u..then we can have our own life.isnt it better? maybe u can find someone whom u truely love n she truely love u..I am being unfair to u..maybe I haven find the one who will let my heart stay firm..still young so I tend to choose..
Is my expectation too high?

End here..

I really dunno what's wrong with u..sometime u will ans call, sometime u wont..then u claim u r slping..really? then when u call me I must ans? not fair leh..maybe we r just denying how we feel..I just dun dare to face it..I know is unfair..then I react in that kind of tone last night coz I care n worried ..I know ur gum hurts so ur mood isnt that gd..I cant help caring for u & I am worried which makes me worry why..I can bluff others but not myself..I know how I feel..is just that I dunno how to face it..so I just let it be..

I dun want to hurt u or others..I been bluffing myself..bluff myself that I treat u as frenz..but the concern between us seem more than that..is unfair to him..but I really dun care so much abt him..which is bad..my heart isnt firm after all..I scare I hurt u also..I think alot..worry this n that..so I just let nature takes its course..

I been thinking u claim that u dun have gf.really or not? I just want to take a step at a time , be ur frenz n go out have fun..know each other better then come n say lor..
u ask me if I mind the age gap..frankly speaking I do mind but sometime certain things when u r in it..u wont mind anymore..
I wonder if u r serious with me..is comfortable to talk to u..and shop around..can u tell me how u feel towards me?

End here..

Moody..

Seriously I am quiet today..maybe abit siao siao also..but deep in my heart, I dun feel happy..I guess I think 2 much..sorry I have to make u disappointed coz is really not the right time nor right way to agree..I know I feel bad and I cant hide my feeling that I admire u a little..but then maybe it isnt that much like what I think..I worried abt u, I care for u..

I dunno why..but right now..I have him le..so I wont want to think so much..so I clarify le last night and let nature takes its course lor..dun want to create misunderstanding n trouble which will make us miserable..

I dun mind being ur friend..nice to chat with..dunno why we just can click.let's take a step at a time..just be friends ba...I wont want to think so much....I mean u want to know it so fast..so sudden but I answered u..haiz...wat to do..I dun want to bluff myself n u..frankly speaking I have been trying 2 bluff myself..but I know myself..
Making myself unhappy etc when I think too much..haiz..

Dear I just thought of u so I got my answer..end here..

Confused

I dunno why..some pple tend 2 be playing or serious? I dunno..just find them fan at times.be friends is aright..seriously I dun mind going out together as a group..not more than that..I am not that gd as u guys might think..I have temper etc..right now I have him, is gd enough..I dun want to think abt what happen in the past & hope it wont repeat..my dear friends who r reading this..u know , I know wat I talking abt..

haiz..sometime it just comes..dunno why..I not showing off..just writing down my thoughts..out of a sudden They want to take my hp no.. dunno what they up to..so weird..I mean for so long then they take..I dun mind exchanging no. but dun disturb me will be gd enough..I just feel confused and pai seh when I see them..dunno how to face them..I just pretend to be normal but I know I am not..maybe I think 2 much? but from what I see, I feel that it isn't so simple..

End here..

Tired weekends

I am back to work after stock take..wow been tired this few days..stay til 10 plus on last fri and 9 plus on sat..Sat was quite free in the sense that we can have a chat and just do wat we want..like no body biz? haaaa..coz nothing to do ..wat u expect us to do? stare blankly at the wall? so We just do wat We like..luckily I can rest yesterday..I was tired..hhaa was watching dvd til quite late too on sat..I just want to relax myself..enjoy the drama and slp at 2am :P so u guys must be telling me, I shouldnt complain I am tired right? haa..currently I am catching hua yang shao nian shao nu, I want to get the part 3!! Cant wait to watch..

Quan is so handsome and finally have frenz who agree with me.. hhaaa..usually I think is handsome, others wont think so..hhaa they will say ok , or so so..hhaa
Ling thanks for agreeing with me haa.. This Brunei Guy, although his brunei accent abit weird, but his chi is gd enough for a Brunei Guy..

My weekend is gone just like that but once a year only , which is fine..I haven see Dear yet since CNY..didnt meet him for a week..miss him? I still feel alright, maybe too tired and occupied..dun have the feeling of missing him too much..how come?

End here ..

Chinese New Year

I am back again..hhee..it is still CNY..I just talk abt my CNY..Nothing much though..

I went to both ah ma's house as usual on the lst day of CNY.. I didnt get a huge amt of hong bao.still alright..2nd day went to Vin's house and he came to my house too..then we have steamboat for dinner at my place.. :)he can acc me to have dinner..
3rd day sian ..Wei Ling came to my house and we decide to watch "Just follow law" directed by Jack Neo..It is so funny..and full house lor..we plan to watch 2.15 slot but not enough tickets..left two tickets but my younger bro catching it with us..so we went to watch at 5.50 istead..We went swedsen to have earthquake ice cream n then head down to my house..after that we catch the movie..

I met WL thrice last week..hhaa miss each other too much? just kidding..I went out last sat n sun too..sat went to YY's 21st birthday at costa sand pasir ris..nothing much also..a bit sian..but she invited me so I just went..Sunday went WL's house bai nian with Ling & SH..then we dunno where to go either so stay at my house lor have a chat ..eat goodies..Mum wasnt in de..but nvm..coz they are my best frenz..We did have fun although just simply chatting..is gd.. :) as usual We tease Amelia lor regarding pri 6 incident hhaa..which I wont mention here..secret among us :P

Nothing much to do at work as stock take is coming..after that can faint haiz..end here la

I am back again..Didnt blog abt a week..busy busy busy when CNY is around the corner..alot of work to do..

Anyway I bought Nian huo le..wow can spend alot on that..now leave bak kwa, going pay ah yi 4 ordering 4 us...once a year is alright..
Still have to get drinks..nvm downstair sells them..

I just went 2 Chinatown after going Vivo City 2 feel the CNY atmosphere on sat..so crowded..
Too bad camera no batt cant take pics..sob..didnt check, and this is wat happen ar dear..hhaaa

Anyway I got him a cookie cake from Famous Amos for V day..Birthday gift, given le..a polo shirt for CNY yeah..haiz..V day n his birthday so near no gd..lol..have to get so many things..kidding..
Anyway there is a card made by me..
I do hope he really love wat I give.

Thinking of getting 1 more top and get a shoe or something 2 go along with my dress.. :) hhee happy that I can see him tml..thought I wont be able to..but no plans at all as I thought we wont celebrate lor..anyway we can have a simple meal ..and beside we kind of celebrate on sat..I treat him food..so is ok..

Like wat pple will say, if u r lovely and has a stable relationship, everday is V Day..I agree..doesnt have to be on 14 feb right?

K end here and going do my work & go shopping again after work..busy CNY period wor..

Tiring Sat..

I am back again blogging..I feel sleepy today and I can say is very tired after having our company dinner last night..We went to Yen Place at chinatown n have dinner..

It is quite fun.guess wat Jean end up sit with us.I didnt expect her to sit with us..I guess no seats already that's why..Boss naughty haaa..He can get really fun joking with us n enjoying with us..is gd..have a gd relationship..We get very high wor..hhaaa not taking pills ar..lol
We have Karaoke session to go with the dinner..I sang 1 song with Jasyln..bei ji xue.. :)
Ah seng really can sing..not bad..

I tried red wine again..Boss naughty..we ordered soft drinks & he replaces the soft drink with red wine instead ..dun let us drink soft drink..hhaaa..I cant drink alot..I dun drink wine de..So I guess I get abit drunk last night hhaa..a bit blur blur..tired lor..I dunno..

I know dear u are worried but dun worry I am fine.. :) still manage to get home and I know how to get home hhaa..
I enjoyed myself..left at 10pm..as today we have to work wat..if not I stay longer..dun feel like going off lor..

Anyway meeting dear later..k go n do my things..enough of last night..end here..

A new year..2007

I didnt blog for a few weeks le..and I am back..Starting of this year, I am busy with work as CNY is coming..busy for this two weeks..not enough time to use lor..sob..

Anyway I celebrate my 21st birthday with WL, SH & Amelia..at MSQ KBox..we did have fun and they bought me a choc. cake wor..yummy..It isnt too sweet and is nice..quite fun singing together but Ling hhaa.. we could'nt hear her voice :P sing from 2 plus til 7 +..then have dinner together and shop around..

Dear wasn't free to celebrate with me..nvm.. but earlier on he got me a strawberry cake n bring it to ah ma's house there together with other snacks..touched..thanks dear..but u didnt cut the cake with me..a bit disappointed ba..
I did have fun guys..sigh old liao hhaa..u guys still have a long way..

I went to Suntec on Sun 2 shop around & so I went 2 see project superstar..hhee Daren is handsome wor..so mi ren..I hope he is the champion..of course not forgetting the rest..Nat cute..Carrie is pretty..Diya also not bad..glad that I can see them..I remember I didnt go n see pss last year..but I saw b4 Xin hui and Jun Yang.. :) not bad too..

I just went to buy death note comics to read after catching the movie.I am glue to the comics..omg!! how? I am not that type who love comics but I reading them now..hhaa I am a bit surprise of wat I am doing :P maybe bcoz it interest me..

Alright I shall end here la..I have to do my work & free I will blog again..

Sian..disappointed..

I am working as usual on sat..feeling grey?? hhaa I feel sian & I know I miss him but I cant see him today unless I go n visit him?? but then I end work abit late, reach there quite late plus I feel tired..bad right dun visit him?I plan to meet but he had rashes last night so cant see him today..I dunno wat I plan 2 do today..I know abt it this morning,last min wat to do..maybe go library then go TS shop around for dvd etc & then I go home lor...nothing 2 do..have to think of present to buy 4 the gift exchange.
I will feel tired after work,frankly speaking I dun feel like going anywhere..beside today is sat, so many labels to print..sure print til siao..I try 2 finish printing them today lor..I cant help feeling disappointed but sometime cant be helped & I dun blame him..just that so coincidence he meeting me today, yesterday like tt..nvm I see him on xmas eve then..

Happy that I meeting WL on mon..finally we can go shopping together..she has been busy nowaday with her assignments etc..now waiting for death note 2 to come..anyway Wen Wen did ask us if we wants to go for death note GV marathon..I wasnt really interested as I catched death note already, no point though..beside death note 2 wil be at 12am..so late!

Alright I end here..

Latin Dance Club Rocks!!

Well didnt blog a two weeks..here I am back again..

I just had an early xmas party in sch.. :) my cca party..I did have fun yesterday though.get together with juniors after I graduate but too bad YH & XT cant attend.Anyway YK & Andrew did came..
glad to see all of them plus Casey & Mrs Foo..Mrs FOo bought the strawberries & marshmallow for us to dip into chocolate..yummy..is really nice..then we have fried bee hoon fried by Zi Yun's mum..satay, fishballs etc..

hhaa of course we exchange presents..each of us bought one gift..haha luckily didnt get forfeit hhaa..some lucky onces, they draw the piece of paper with forfeit written hhaaa..heng!
anyway I left sch at 9 plus..is so dark..We did have fun..
Hope we can meet up more often ..

I have to get another present.sigh..dunno wat to get..my company exhanging gifts too and we will have food on fri..a small treat..I bought chocolates for the sch party..wat abt this? chocolate again? I dunno..I didnt plan to exchange presents this year but since there is,I dun mind..it's quite fun though..

End here..hungry..waiting 2 go out 4 lunch..

Busy Day..

Well it has been a few weeks since I last blog..I guess nowaday I dun really have the habit of blogging as I am busy plus nothing much to blog..

Time flies & Dec is coming..I guess I will get busier soon..anyway I am busy today as the server is down for a few hrs & I couldnt do any work and I did them in the afternoon..finally finish my stack of work.. sleepy wor..wat a busy day..

I just went to the adidas sales which is held in expo..I went with him on sat..Mm..alot of pple & we have to queue to get in.u cant bring ur bag in, they give u a plastic bag to put ur things ..I get a pair of shoe.. :) finally..I wanted to get a pair of new shoe long ago..I went to popular sales too..but didnt get anything..just shop around..then have dinner & shop around at tampines lor..


I guess my family bonding is better nowaday? ..atleast everyone have time 2 sit down 2 have meal together once a while on weekend..Last time we dun really do so as everyone is busy..I love this kind of feeling..kinship is impt..Well hopefully it stays this way..

I hope it won't rain during weekend coz I am going out..Xiao Jie wants to go east coast so we going together with Dear..
I think I didnt see my grandma for quite long..I have to find a day to go n visit her..I miss her though..
I thinking of making a new pair of spect as mine is really so old n tt the lens have scratch marks..sigh..Maybe go & make on sat..I just hope to have an enjoyable weekend yeah..

Mm.. wat else did I miss out? I guess nothing much..so I end here..

Mon Blues...

Today I am quite free..Just have a bit of work to do..Feel abit moody in the morning..I dunno why..I guess Mon blues?? hhee..well yesterday just stay at home..nothing much..

I talk abt sat..This year celebrate anniversary earlier..haaa then recall abt last year I cant even remember..opps..but I have noted it down haaa..so I recall le..This year no flower though..a bit disappointed..nvm the celebration is over :P We went to Msq to catch Death Note..The movie is quite interesting..I never regret catching it..I thought it is a horror movie til WL told me tt it is not a horror story..It is really nice..whereby anyone's name written on the death note bk , the person will die of heart attack within 40 secs if no details of death is stated..
But then there isnt any ending ..I guess there is going to be death note 2? After watching movie, We went to swedsen to have our dinner..ate ice cream too..great..Food not bad..then we went for a walk at esplanade park..nothing much though..just like tt..I got a wallet from him.. :)
Although my guy isnt romantic..but like he says he make an effort to celebrate the day with me..tt is gd enough..
I cherish the time being with him..I have to wait for one week then I can see him..sigh..nvm I guess time will pass by fast..Btw my dear can U try to be abit romantic? hhaaaa..just a little..anyway he wont read this :P haaa..End Here..

Today quite free though..I really rest lor..nothing much to do..anyway meeting him on sat..celebrate our 2nd anniversary..mm..I cant wait..We celebrate earlier lor..nvm we are happy..every day is our anniversary.. yeah..nothing much planned..but I hope we have a nice day..Sat need to work though..abit sian..but is alright coz after tt I can see him.. :) I guess we going catch a movie though..

So fast Nov comes..Wonder wat to get for Amelia n Dad's birthday coming soon too..sigh..I must crack my brain to think of wat 2 buy..sian when it comes to choosing gift..haiz..
Wat else to blog..nothing much ba..Just miss him lor..
I just hope we enjoy our days together & be happy..

End here..