What I want?

Frenz say me is true..I really dunno what I want..or maybe I know what I want but I am afraid to face it..so never make empty promise..i cant say I dun feel happy with u..is that my heart just waiver..why is that so? I dun dare to face how I feel..I can say is my problem..even if he doesnt appear..there may be problems..I guess is all my fault..
Maybe I should just be left alone..better for me? choose wat I want? then end up cannot find then forget it lor..single..is that what I want? I dun want to hurt u two..

Seriously y I worry abt u not coming to work? I cant figure out how I feel towards u..is it like? I just feel so comfortable talking to u n going out with u..I dun feel any stress..but recently talk to u..I guess we r giving each other attitude le..why is that so? then u can feel I am a bad person..I worry when u didnt on ur hp..or ans the call..I scare something happen to u..coz I care right? I dun have to do that right? but why? frenz dun do that..I am doing more than that le..

I dun want to regret wat decision I make..frankly speaking Dear I know u r gd to me since we r together for so long..maybe I demand too much..that I go out with u..I tend to be unhappy when I dun wish to..how come? I mean when there isnt some romantic stuff but u r true to me..u love me for who I am..u forgive me for what I do..if is me, will I do the same? this is a gd question..

I also dun dare to get into a new relationship although I do say I did like u a little..but wat kind of like is that? end up I find u not suitable..break with u no point lor..I dun have the confidence..beside there is alot to consider..why must I think so much..like pple will say just do what u think is right..I dunno u well..maybe I doesnt suit u..i think u forget me ba..

Frankly speaking if I knew this will happen again..coz no sparks etc..i shouldnt patch back with u..then we can have our own life.isnt it better? maybe u can find someone whom u truely love n she truely love u..I am being unfair to u..maybe I haven find the one who will let my heart stay firm..still young so I tend to choose..
Is my expectation too high?

End here..

I really dunno what's wrong with u..sometime u will ans call, sometime u wont..then u claim u r slping..really? then when u call me I must ans? not fair leh..maybe we r just denying how we feel..I just dun dare to face it..I know is unfair..then I react in that kind of tone last night coz I care n worried ..I know ur gum hurts so ur mood isnt that gd..I cant help caring for u & I am worried which makes me worry why..I can bluff others but not myself..I know how I feel..is just that I dunno how to face it..so I just let it be..

I dun want to hurt u or others..I been bluffing myself..bluff myself that I treat u as frenz..but the concern between us seem more than that..is unfair to him..but I really dun care so much abt him..which is bad..my heart isnt firm after all..I scare I hurt u also..I think alot..worry this n that..so I just let nature takes its course..

I been thinking u claim that u dun have gf.really or not? I just want to take a step at a time , be ur frenz n go out have fun..know each other better then come n say lor..
u ask me if I mind the age gap..frankly speaking I do mind but sometime certain things when u r in it..u wont mind anymore..
I wonder if u r serious with me..is comfortable to talk to u..and shop around..can u tell me how u feel towards me?

End here..

Moody..

Seriously I am quiet today..maybe abit siao siao also..but deep in my heart, I dun feel happy..I guess I think 2 much..sorry I have to make u disappointed coz is really not the right time nor right way to agree..I know I feel bad and I cant hide my feeling that I admire u a little..but then maybe it isnt that much like what I think..I worried abt u, I care for u..

I dunno why..but right now..I have him le..so I wont want to think so much..so I clarify le last night and let nature takes its course lor..dun want to create misunderstanding n trouble which will make us miserable..

I dun mind being ur friend..nice to chat with..dunno why we just can click.let's take a step at a time..just be friends ba...I wont want to think so much....I mean u want to know it so fast..so sudden but I answered u..haiz...wat to do..I dun want to bluff myself n u..frankly speaking I have been trying 2 bluff myself..but I know myself..
Making myself unhappy etc when I think too much..haiz..

Dear I just thought of u so I got my answer..end here..

Confused

I dunno why..some pple tend 2 be playing or serious? I dunno..just find them fan at times.be friends is aright..seriously I dun mind going out together as a group..not more than that..I am not that gd as u guys might think..I have temper etc..right now I have him, is gd enough..I dun want to think abt what happen in the past & hope it wont repeat..my dear friends who r reading this..u know , I know wat I talking abt..

haiz..sometime it just comes..dunno why..I not showing off..just writing down my thoughts..out of a sudden They want to take my hp no.. dunno what they up to..so weird..I mean for so long then they take..I dun mind exchanging no. but dun disturb me will be gd enough..I just feel confused and pai seh when I see them..dunno how to face them..I just pretend to be normal but I know I am not..maybe I think 2 much? but from what I see, I feel that it isn't so simple..

End here..

Tired weekends

I am back to work after stock take..wow been tired this few days..stay til 10 plus on last fri and 9 plus on sat..Sat was quite free in the sense that we can have a chat and just do wat we want..like no body biz? haaaa..coz nothing to do ..wat u expect us to do? stare blankly at the wall? so We just do wat We like..luckily I can rest yesterday..I was tired..hhaa was watching dvd til quite late too on sat..I just want to relax myself..enjoy the drama and slp at 2am :P so u guys must be telling me, I shouldnt complain I am tired right? haa..currently I am catching hua yang shao nian shao nu, I want to get the part 3!! Cant wait to watch..

Quan is so handsome and finally have frenz who agree with me.. hhaaa..usually I think is handsome, others wont think so..hhaa they will say ok , or so so..hhaa
Ling thanks for agreeing with me haa.. This Brunei Guy, although his brunei accent abit weird, but his chi is gd enough for a Brunei Guy..

My weekend is gone just like that but once a year only , which is fine..I haven see Dear yet since CNY..didnt meet him for a week..miss him? I still feel alright, maybe too tired and occupied..dun have the feeling of missing him too much..how come?

End here ..

Chinese New Year

I am back again..hhee..it is still CNY..I just talk abt my CNY..Nothing much though..

I went to both ah ma's house as usual on the lst day of CNY.. I didnt get a huge amt of hong bao.still alright..2nd day went to Vin's house and he came to my house too..then we have steamboat for dinner at my place.. :)he can acc me to have dinner..
3rd day sian ..Wei Ling came to my house and we decide to watch "Just follow law" directed by Jack Neo..It is so funny..and full house lor..we plan to watch 2.15 slot but not enough tickets..left two tickets but my younger bro catching it with us..so we went to watch at 5.50 istead..We went swedsen to have earthquake ice cream n then head down to my house..after that we catch the movie..

I met WL thrice last week..hhaa miss each other too much? just kidding..I went out last sat n sun too..sat went to YY's 21st birthday at costa sand pasir ris..nothing much also..a bit sian..but she invited me so I just went..Sunday went WL's house bai nian with Ling & SH..then we dunno where to go either so stay at my house lor have a chat ..eat goodies..Mum wasnt in de..but nvm..coz they are my best frenz..We did have fun although just simply chatting..is gd.. :) as usual We tease Amelia lor regarding pri 6 incident hhaa..which I wont mention here..secret among us :P

Nothing much to do at work as stock take is coming..after that can faint haiz..end here la