What I want?

Frenz say me is true..I really dunno what I want..or maybe I know what I want but I am afraid to face it..so never make empty promise..i cant say I dun feel happy with u..is that my heart just waiver..why is that so? I dun dare to face how I feel..I can say is my problem..even if he doesnt appear..there may be problems..I guess is all my fault..
Maybe I should just be left alone..better for me? choose wat I want? then end up cannot find then forget it lor..single..is that what I want? I dun want to hurt u two..

Seriously y I worry abt u not coming to work? I cant figure out how I feel towards u..is it like? I just feel so comfortable talking to u n going out with u..I dun feel any stress..but recently talk to u..I guess we r giving each other attitude le..why is that so? then u can feel I am a bad person..I worry when u didnt on ur hp..or ans the call..I scare something happen to u..coz I care right? I dun have to do that right? but why? frenz dun do that..I am doing more than that le..

I dun want to regret wat decision I make..frankly speaking Dear I know u r gd to me since we r together for so long..maybe I demand too much..that I go out with u..I tend to be unhappy when I dun wish to..how come? I mean when there isnt some romantic stuff but u r true to me..u love me for who I am..u forgive me for what I do..if is me, will I do the same? this is a gd question..

I also dun dare to get into a new relationship although I do say I did like u a little..but wat kind of like is that? end up I find u not suitable..break with u no point lor..I dun have the confidence..beside there is alot to consider..why must I think so much..like pple will say just do what u think is right..I dunno u well..maybe I doesnt suit u..i think u forget me ba..

Frankly speaking if I knew this will happen again..coz no sparks etc..i shouldnt patch back with u..then we can have our own life.isnt it better? maybe u can find someone whom u truely love n she truely love u..I am being unfair to u..maybe I haven find the one who will let my heart stay firm..still young so I tend to choose..
Is my expectation too high?

End here..

I really dunno what's wrong with u..sometime u will ans call, sometime u wont..then u claim u r slping..really? then when u call me I must ans? not fair leh..maybe we r just denying how we feel..I just dun dare to face it..I know is unfair..then I react in that kind of tone last night coz I care n worried ..I know ur gum hurts so ur mood isnt that gd..I cant help caring for u & I am worried which makes me worry why..I can bluff others but not myself..I know how I feel..is just that I dunno how to face it..so I just let it be..

I dun want to hurt u or others..I been bluffing myself..bluff myself that I treat u as frenz..but the concern between us seem more than that..is unfair to him..but I really dun care so much abt him..which is bad..my heart isnt firm after all..I scare I hurt u also..I think alot..worry this n that..so I just let nature takes its course..

I been thinking u claim that u dun have gf.really or not? I just want to take a step at a time , be ur frenz n go out have fun..know each other better then come n say lor..
u ask me if I mind the age gap..frankly speaking I do mind but sometime certain things when u r in it..u wont mind anymore..
I wonder if u r serious with me..is comfortable to talk to u..and shop around..can u tell me how u feel towards me?

End here..

Moody..

Seriously I am quiet today..maybe abit siao siao also..but deep in my heart, I dun feel happy..I guess I think 2 much..sorry I have to make u disappointed coz is really not the right time nor right way to agree..I know I feel bad and I cant hide my feeling that I admire u a little..but then maybe it isnt that much like what I think..I worried abt u, I care for u..

I dunno why..but right now..I have him le..so I wont want to think so much..so I clarify le last night and let nature takes its course lor..dun want to create misunderstanding n trouble which will make us miserable..

I dun mind being ur friend..nice to chat with..dunno why we just can click.let's take a step at a time..just be friends ba...I wont want to think so much....I mean u want to know it so fast..so sudden but I answered u..haiz...wat to do..I dun want to bluff myself n u..frankly speaking I have been trying 2 bluff myself..but I know myself..
Making myself unhappy etc when I think too much..haiz..

Dear I just thought of u so I got my answer..end here..

Confused

I dunno why..some pple tend 2 be playing or serious? I dunno..just find them fan at times.be friends is aright..seriously I dun mind going out together as a group..not more than that..I am not that gd as u guys might think..I have temper etc..right now I have him, is gd enough..I dun want to think abt what happen in the past & hope it wont repeat..my dear friends who r reading this..u know , I know wat I talking abt..

haiz..sometime it just comes..dunno why..I not showing off..just writing down my thoughts..out of a sudden They want to take my hp no.. dunno what they up to..so weird..I mean for so long then they take..I dun mind exchanging no. but dun disturb me will be gd enough..I just feel confused and pai seh when I see them..dunno how to face them..I just pretend to be normal but I know I am not..maybe I think 2 much? but from what I see, I feel that it isn't so simple..

End here..

Tired weekends

I am back to work after stock take..wow been tired this few days..stay til 10 plus on last fri and 9 plus on sat..Sat was quite free in the sense that we can have a chat and just do wat we want..like no body biz? haaaa..coz nothing to do ..wat u expect us to do? stare blankly at the wall? so We just do wat We like..luckily I can rest yesterday..I was tired..hhaa was watching dvd til quite late too on sat..I just want to relax myself..enjoy the drama and slp at 2am :P so u guys must be telling me, I shouldnt complain I am tired right? haa..currently I am catching hua yang shao nian shao nu, I want to get the part 3!! Cant wait to watch..

Quan is so handsome and finally have frenz who agree with me.. hhaaa..usually I think is handsome, others wont think so..hhaa they will say ok , or so so..hhaa
Ling thanks for agreeing with me haa.. This Brunei Guy, although his brunei accent abit weird, but his chi is gd enough for a Brunei Guy..

My weekend is gone just like that but once a year only , which is fine..I haven see Dear yet since CNY..didnt meet him for a week..miss him? I still feel alright, maybe too tired and occupied..dun have the feeling of missing him too much..how come?

End here ..

Chinese New Year

I am back again..hhee..it is still CNY..I just talk abt my CNY..Nothing much though..

I went to both ah ma's house as usual on the lst day of CNY.. I didnt get a huge amt of hong bao.still alright..2nd day went to Vin's house and he came to my house too..then we have steamboat for dinner at my place.. :)he can acc me to have dinner..
3rd day sian ..Wei Ling came to my house and we decide to watch "Just follow law" directed by Jack Neo..It is so funny..and full house lor..we plan to watch 2.15 slot but not enough tickets..left two tickets but my younger bro catching it with us..so we went to watch at 5.50 istead..We went swedsen to have earthquake ice cream n then head down to my house..after that we catch the movie..

I met WL thrice last week..hhaa miss each other too much? just kidding..I went out last sat n sun too..sat went to YY's 21st birthday at costa sand pasir ris..nothing much also..a bit sian..but she invited me so I just went..Sunday went WL's house bai nian with Ling & SH..then we dunno where to go either so stay at my house lor have a chat ..eat goodies..Mum wasnt in de..but nvm..coz they are my best frenz..We did have fun although just simply chatting..is gd.. :) as usual We tease Amelia lor regarding pri 6 incident hhaa..which I wont mention here..secret among us :P

Nothing much to do at work as stock take is coming..after that can faint haiz..end here la

I am back again..Didnt blog abt a week..busy busy busy when CNY is around the corner..alot of work to do..

Anyway I bought Nian huo le..wow can spend alot on that..now leave bak kwa, going pay ah yi 4 ordering 4 us...once a year is alright..
Still have to get drinks..nvm downstair sells them..

I just went 2 Chinatown after going Vivo City 2 feel the CNY atmosphere on sat..so crowded..
Too bad camera no batt cant take pics..sob..didnt check, and this is wat happen ar dear..hhaaa

Anyway I got him a cookie cake from Famous Amos for V day..Birthday gift, given le..a polo shirt for CNY yeah..haiz..V day n his birthday so near no gd..lol..have to get so many things..kidding..
Anyway there is a card made by me..
I do hope he really love wat I give.

Thinking of getting 1 more top and get a shoe or something 2 go along with my dress.. :) hhee happy that I can see him tml..thought I wont be able to..but no plans at all as I thought we wont celebrate lor..anyway we can have a simple meal ..and beside we kind of celebrate on sat..I treat him food..so is ok..

Like wat pple will say, if u r lovely and has a stable relationship, everday is V Day..I agree..doesnt have to be on 14 feb right?

K end here and going do my work & go shopping again after work..busy CNY period wor..

Tiring Sat..

I am back again blogging..I feel sleepy today and I can say is very tired after having our company dinner last night..We went to Yen Place at chinatown n have dinner..

It is quite fun.guess wat Jean end up sit with us.I didnt expect her to sit with us..I guess no seats already that's why..Boss naughty haaa..He can get really fun joking with us n enjoying with us..is gd..have a gd relationship..We get very high wor..hhaaa not taking pills ar..lol
We have Karaoke session to go with the dinner..I sang 1 song with Jasyln..bei ji xue.. :)
Ah seng really can sing..not bad..

I tried red wine again..Boss naughty..we ordered soft drinks & he replaces the soft drink with red wine instead ..dun let us drink soft drink..hhaaa..I cant drink alot..I dun drink wine de..So I guess I get abit drunk last night hhaa..a bit blur blur..tired lor..I dunno..

I know dear u are worried but dun worry I am fine.. :) still manage to get home and I know how to get home hhaa..
I enjoyed myself..left at 10pm..as today we have to work wat..if not I stay longer..dun feel like going off lor..

Anyway meeting dear later..k go n do my things..enough of last night..end here..

A new year..2007

I didnt blog for a few weeks le..and I am back..Starting of this year, I am busy with work as CNY is coming..busy for this two weeks..not enough time to use lor..sob..

Anyway I celebrate my 21st birthday with WL, SH & Amelia..at MSQ KBox..we did have fun and they bought me a choc. cake wor..yummy..It isnt too sweet and is nice..quite fun singing together but Ling hhaa.. we could'nt hear her voice :P sing from 2 plus til 7 +..then have dinner together and shop around..

Dear wasn't free to celebrate with me..nvm.. but earlier on he got me a strawberry cake n bring it to ah ma's house there together with other snacks..touched..thanks dear..but u didnt cut the cake with me..a bit disappointed ba..
I did have fun guys..sigh old liao hhaa..u guys still have a long way..

I went to Suntec on Sun 2 shop around & so I went 2 see project superstar..hhee Daren is handsome wor..so mi ren..I hope he is the champion..of course not forgetting the rest..Nat cute..Carrie is pretty..Diya also not bad..glad that I can see them..I remember I didnt go n see pss last year..but I saw b4 Xin hui and Jun Yang.. :) not bad too..

I just went to buy death note comics to read after catching the movie.I am glue to the comics..omg!! how? I am not that type who love comics but I reading them now..hhaa I am a bit surprise of wat I am doing :P maybe bcoz it interest me..

Alright I shall end here la..I have to do my work & free I will blog again..

Sian..disappointed..

I am working as usual on sat..feeling grey?? hhaa I feel sian & I know I miss him but I cant see him today unless I go n visit him?? but then I end work abit late, reach there quite late plus I feel tired..bad right dun visit him?I plan to meet but he had rashes last night so cant see him today..I dunno wat I plan 2 do today..I know abt it this morning,last min wat to do..maybe go library then go TS shop around for dvd etc & then I go home lor...nothing 2 do..have to think of present to buy 4 the gift exchange.
I will feel tired after work,frankly speaking I dun feel like going anywhere..beside today is sat, so many labels to print..sure print til siao..I try 2 finish printing them today lor..I cant help feeling disappointed but sometime cant be helped & I dun blame him..just that so coincidence he meeting me today, yesterday like tt..nvm I see him on xmas eve then..

Happy that I meeting WL on mon..finally we can go shopping together..she has been busy nowaday with her assignments etc..now waiting for death note 2 to come..anyway Wen Wen did ask us if we wants to go for death note GV marathon..I wasnt really interested as I catched death note already, no point though..beside death note 2 wil be at 12am..so late!

Alright I end here..

Latin Dance Club Rocks!!

Well didnt blog a two weeks..here I am back again..

I just had an early xmas party in sch.. :) my cca party..I did have fun yesterday though.get together with juniors after I graduate but too bad YH & XT cant attend.Anyway YK & Andrew did came..
glad to see all of them plus Casey & Mrs Foo..Mrs FOo bought the strawberries & marshmallow for us to dip into chocolate..yummy..is really nice..then we have fried bee hoon fried by Zi Yun's mum..satay, fishballs etc..

hhaa of course we exchange presents..each of us bought one gift..haha luckily didnt get forfeit hhaa..some lucky onces, they draw the piece of paper with forfeit written hhaaa..heng!
anyway I left sch at 9 plus..is so dark..We did have fun..
Hope we can meet up more often ..

I have to get another present.sigh..dunno wat to get..my company exhanging gifts too and we will have food on fri..a small treat..I bought chocolates for the sch party..wat abt this? chocolate again? I dunno..I didnt plan to exchange presents this year but since there is,I dun mind..it's quite fun though..

End here..hungry..waiting 2 go out 4 lunch..

Busy Day..

Well it has been a few weeks since I last blog..I guess nowaday I dun really have the habit of blogging as I am busy plus nothing much to blog..

Time flies & Dec is coming..I guess I will get busier soon..anyway I am busy today as the server is down for a few hrs & I couldnt do any work and I did them in the afternoon..finally finish my stack of work.. sleepy wor..wat a busy day..

I just went to the adidas sales which is held in expo..I went with him on sat..Mm..alot of pple & we have to queue to get in.u cant bring ur bag in, they give u a plastic bag to put ur things ..I get a pair of shoe.. :) finally..I wanted to get a pair of new shoe long ago..I went to popular sales too..but didnt get anything..just shop around..then have dinner & shop around at tampines lor..


I guess my family bonding is better nowaday? ..atleast everyone have time 2 sit down 2 have meal together once a while on weekend..Last time we dun really do so as everyone is busy..I love this kind of feeling..kinship is impt..Well hopefully it stays this way..

I hope it won't rain during weekend coz I am going out..Xiao Jie wants to go east coast so we going together with Dear..
I think I didnt see my grandma for quite long..I have to find a day to go n visit her..I miss her though..
I thinking of making a new pair of spect as mine is really so old n tt the lens have scratch marks..sigh..Maybe go & make on sat..I just hope to have an enjoyable weekend yeah..

Mm.. wat else did I miss out? I guess nothing much..so I end here..

Mon Blues...

Today I am quite free..Just have a bit of work to do..Feel abit moody in the morning..I dunno why..I guess Mon blues?? hhee..well yesterday just stay at home..nothing much..

I talk abt sat..This year celebrate anniversary earlier..haaa then recall abt last year I cant even remember..opps..but I have noted it down haaa..so I recall le..This year no flower though..a bit disappointed..nvm the celebration is over :P We went to Msq to catch Death Note..The movie is quite interesting..I never regret catching it..I thought it is a horror movie til WL told me tt it is not a horror story..It is really nice..whereby anyone's name written on the death note bk , the person will die of heart attack within 40 secs if no details of death is stated..
But then there isnt any ending ..I guess there is going to be death note 2? After watching movie, We went to swedsen to have our dinner..ate ice cream too..great..Food not bad..then we went for a walk at esplanade park..nothing much though..just like tt..I got a wallet from him.. :)
Although my guy isnt romantic..but like he says he make an effort to celebrate the day with me..tt is gd enough..
I cherish the time being with him..I have to wait for one week then I can see him..sigh..nvm I guess time will pass by fast..Btw my dear can U try to be abit romantic? hhaaaa..just a little..anyway he wont read this :P haaa..End Here..

Today quite free though..I really rest lor..nothing much to do..anyway meeting him on sat..celebrate our 2nd anniversary..mm..I cant wait..We celebrate earlier lor..nvm we are happy..every day is our anniversary.. yeah..nothing much planned..but I hope we have a nice day..Sat need to work though..abit sian..but is alright coz after tt I can see him.. :) I guess we going catch a movie though..

So fast Nov comes..Wonder wat to get for Amelia n Dad's birthday coming soon too..sigh..I must crack my brain to think of wat 2 buy..sian when it comes to choosing gift..haiz..
Wat else to blog..nothing much ba..Just miss him lor..
I just hope we enjoy our days together & be happy..

End here..

Time flies and is coming to end of Oct and soon Nov will come..count down to our two year anniversary.I had prepared the gifts already..Just completed the cross stitch card yesterday..just wonder wat he will be giving me..I really have no idea at all and I guess he wont know wat I giving him..haha

I feel sad when I heard the news that he may be posted to Taiwan, Thailand etc for a year..so far we have not be separated whereby both of us in different countries..I guess it may be a gd test for us..How would I feel?? I will miss him lots and cant bear to let him go aboard but I cant be selfish though..It's a gd exposure for him as he will be learning stuff..but one year leh..seem so long ..God is giving us test everytime but I guess is gd to test our relationship..We already went through quite a few test..so can I say we pass them?? I dunno..kind of fail hhaa..

I have not told any close frenz abt this yet..It's not confirmed so didnt say anything..so just have 2 wait n find out whether he will be going or not..december will know ba I guess..army life is like tt..sigh ..I know he wish 2 go for a few week
only & he wont want to leave me here right..but sometime u cant choose..

Btw I finsh watching princess hrs le..bought the vcd though n watch..I really find Joo Ji Hoon( Xin Jun) charming..heee although the Lu is handsome..I prefer Xin le..I even bought the ost soundtrack..abit crazy ar..nice songs wat..mum nagging saying I waste money hhhaa
End here.. I do my work..not really busy today..Just miss him..

I have not been blogging for a week..somehow no time 2 blog u see..I have been busy this week..mm..mooncake festival period,I dun seem tt busy as compare 2 now..hari raya coming u see..

MM..update wat I did..well..working as usual and yesterday I had meeting after lunch with Boss & Pandan Loop pple.I think it's not really a meeting, a discussion session perhaps?? Mei Yue & I together with Elsie & Sharon attend lor.We just bring up issues etc ..I didnt comment on anything just listen..
I find tt James is a gd boss..mm..He is willing 2 listen to us and then if there is problems he trys 2 solve it, tt why we have a discussion session right? sometime he does try 2 interact with his employers..He quite friendly though but as he is a boss, I think I dun really dare 2 talk 2 him tt much?? just have 2 respect him..
Yesterday coz of the meeting,I get 2 have lunch with Mei Yue ..yeah..finally not lonely le..it has been some time we have lunch together..

Currently I watching princess hrs on channel u..it really interests me..I wasnt interested in korea drama at all at 1st but this drama really interests me..the female lead actress looks cute n pretty..so sweet..I guess she must be very young..I do hope 2 look for the vcd so tt I dun have 2 rush home everyday 2 catch it on tv..but I shall check out the price lst..dunno whether should I buy although I know I want 2 have it..hhaa I have been spending money on vcd..is it a waste of money?coz after catching it, u just leave it in ur cupboard..but usually I wont watch it for one time as it is nice..I really dun mind watching it again..so I guess it's worth the money right??

Alright I shall end here..too longwinded ar ..haaaa blog again when free..need 2 do my work..

Today Mei Yue is on mc and I work alone..but still managable.. :) well let me update abt weekends..

mm..sat went 2 have visit Peh Peh then went 2 eat steamboat..think I mention it b4..well did have fun with my family at marina south..I ate til so full..perhaps I gain weight?? opps ..i hope not hhaa..so crowded at zhen fa steamboat..have crabs, prawns etc..ate a few times at marina, I didnt even ate the crabs..Daddy get the crabs lor..but everyone limit 2 a certain amt..

well..sunday went 2 meet dear for lunch at tpy central then bought some fruits etc..he went 2 my house & we watch movie together..finally after so long....Mummy cooked dessert and we ate..We let him da bao some home 2 let his family eat.. :) Mummy didnt say anything..anyway I didnt do anything at all so wat can she says..haha..although spend a few hrs only, but is gd..

Tml is mooncake festival and I almost forget..My company gives us a box of mooncake each.so nice of them ar..I was quite surprised..anyway meeting Wei Ling tml for dinner..she wants 2 meet me today but i dun want..i want go home watch ge dou tian wang.ending today..actually she going catch movie but cancelled..anyway I dun want 2 go too coz this month spend alot though plus I want 2 be at home tonight..tml ba..then see whether Yu Yan want 2 join us..long time never chat wat..I dun mind..since she stays at tpy de..

Alright end here..blog alot today ar..so long winded hhaaa

Today is my turn 2 work as last week I wasnt working..mm..this few days quite free after doing my work and I can really rest a while ..mm.seldom get to blog le and I also dunno wat to blog so didnt uupdate..Update a bit...last sun went 2 Vin's house..after tt I met Mum to visit Peh Peh at tts hospital lor..well didnt really spend a lot of time with Vin so tml meeting him for lunch n we have a gd chat etc..tonight going marina bay 2 eat steamboat as mum birthday coming, I bring her 2 have some food..tt will cost me mm..abt $50 for my family..well is alright as birthday is only once a year.. the most I save abit next month, dun spend so much money lor..

I think i didnt update regarding wat I buying for Him..well a mug with our pics..is ready le..I have it done at bugis n is quite cheap though..I hope he likes it and i get a gift box 2 put it in..as for the card is not ready yet..hhaaa i do it too slowly but get it complete soon.. :)
End here

Very Free!!

Today quite free lor nothing much 2 do .. :) nan de free wor..juz recieve sms from the shop that My mp3 ready 2 be collected..yeah I am so happy..finally can have it back after 3 weeks..then can load my songs n hear..I really love 2 hear songs..but probably all gone n I need 2 load all the songs again..I love jj songs :( my fav songs other than 5566 songs..then i will back up the songs lor in my thumbdrive just in case.. :)

I just watched little man yesterday with dear..quite nice n funny..btw currently catching the magical of love ..find it quite nice..stories abt hair salon de..183 club acting..dear manage to find the part 2 for me..as i only bought one part at lst and now they only sell in 1 whole set.

End here..

So busy this few days...

Well..I have been busy this few days, busy til somehow I find I cant take it and cant manage as production there is so much to do ..sigh..anyway I feel ok la since tml sat le..time flies..MY not around I do work til siao.. *sob.. \

I just think alot sometime and today mood not very gd coz sian so many things to do..almost cry coz stress....yesterday he felt low..some things r hard 2 forget..I also never forget..but it makes me sad 2 know he is sad..haiz..I dunno..somehow there is something bothering us and We juz couldnt forget..I guess it takes time to overcome n even not overcome ..I dunno..k do my work..

Meeting dear on sun instead of tml..tml working I just feel tired to go out..I wish MY is back soon so at least there is two persons to do work n I have not apply leave.. end here..